Highways

Driving through the highway of Batangas in January reminds me of a car racing computer game that we used to play when we were kids. Dilapidated trucks loaded with sugar cane are the obstacles you have to overtake in order to get to the finish line. These trucks are old, cumbersome and slow moving. The triumph you feel when you have overtaken one is quickly doused when you realize that there are still dozens of them you have to pass by down the road. Because of their bulk, it's hard to see if there are vehicles in front of them or how far the vehicles on the opposite lane are so that you can maneuver your car to overtake these beasts of burden. There is also the fear that the rusty cage-like steel holding the gigantic pile of sugar cane will give way and tumble into the highway or if you have a really morbid imagination, will fall into your car and piercing the windshield or burying you under all that canes. Can you say that it is a sweet way to go? :)

Passing through towns, you sometimes manage to catch a glimpse of special moments in the lives of its residents. We passed by a house where a wedding celebration was going on. Tables and chairs were arranged in front of the house and there were guests seated. Since dusk was descending, lights strung along the make shift bamboo walls were twinkling, adding a festive air to the occasion. It is also startling to see colorful grand houses plunked in the middle of greens and grays. These houses contrast sharply in a scenery that speaks of poverty in rural areas where small, old and dilapidated structures dominate. There is a strong possibility that these houses are the fruits of the labors of overseas Filipino workers.

There is something magical and other worldly about provincial highways during dusk as day gives way to night. Dusk slowly descends casting a gray tinge to the atmosphere that little by little turns inky black. Darkness is only broken by lamplights and fluorescent bulbs inside the houses that dot both sides of the highways.

Wishes

be careful of what you wish for, you just might get it...
if i wished for and got you, would you make me regret it?
if i make it a prayer, will you be the answer or a test of faith?

2 knowing me

try walking in other people’s shoes
they say, in order to understand
but don’t overdo it
that you won’t be comfortable
walking in your shoes

try to be sensitive to what others feel
give thought to what others think
but not to the extent
where you won’t know
how to think and feel on your own

don’t be a quilt of everybody’s emotions
patches sewn together of everybody’s thoughts
bits and pieces that don’t make a whole
a collection of scraps
a façade of everybody with nothing underneath

Knowing Me

There is an old saying that says that before you judge others, try to walk in their shoes. What happens when you always put yourself in other people’s shoes that you forget to wear your own? The downside of it is that you won’t feel comfortable in your shoes anymore. Always trying to think about what others will feel and think, you end up becoming a stranger to your own thoughts and feelings. One day you’ll wake up and discover that you don’t have one original thought or feeling. In the end, you will lose the ability to think or feel. You are just made up of the bits and pieces of others, a patch of somebody else sewn together with the scraps of everybody else. A quilt with no pattern or design. You lose the ability to truly sympathize and you can no longer feel true empathy.

Easy

I made it so easy for us to be
That you made it easy to let you go
Little effort from you was required
Therefore little effort was made

I guess it’s true they say
Hard won is worth keeping
You let go of me so easily
Because you got me so quickly

I said yes too early
And you made sure that goodbye was too.
Did we really love
Or we just convenient?

My mistake in thinking we could work
When we didn’t really share our feelings well
You with your scars
And me with my fears

So I guess this is goodbye
And I’m learning that
Saying yes too quickly
Will mean saying goodbye too soon.