Thursday, July 22, 2010

Return on Investment

Yesterday, I was down to my last P150. I attended the 6pm mass and I was of two minds whether to give my P100 as offering because I owed it to God or if I'll just give it on Sunday after getting my salary today. In the end I decided to surrender the money to God. During the mass and after I was thinking of how to juggle my money so that I can pay my debts for the month. I was looking for ways where I can get or borrow extra cash but nothing came to mind.

Anyway, I got part of my salary earlier. It was not enough but I have to make do with it. While at the Cashier's window, I saw my name in the list of those who have not claimed their Performance Incentive Bonus (P2000) and asked to submit the required documents. I knew I submitted the documents already but did not claim my bonus because somebody told me I was not entitled since I was on study leave the whole of last year. I went to the HR just to tell them that I submitted the documents and that I did not claim my PIB because I was on leave last year. I had to wait for the Director to finish with the visitor to consult her about the PIB. When I finally spoke to her hurriedly, she told me that I was still entitled because I was on official leave. Well, I did not argue anymore. The P2000 was more than welcome.

So now I have additional money to pay my debts.

"Give God his due and God will give back to you. Turn your water into wine."


It's been so long since I've posted an article here. A lot has happened but I'm not up to writing it in detail. Last year I finally got a scholarship to study abroad. It was not in the countries that I thought I wanted (I went to Seoul, Korea) but it was definitely one of the best experiences in my life. The whole year was one grand adventure, something that seems like a dream when looking back. I was also able to travel to Beijing, Kyoto, Bangkok and Viet Tri. I also got a black belt for Tae kwon do in less than a year. Who would have thought? It's really true that God does not always give us what we want be he definitely gives us what we need.

Saturday, March 29, 2008

Senseless Chatter

I'm so sleepy
You're making me weepy
From too much yawning
So please stop your blathering.

My eyelids fall
Can't stop gravity's pull
Your voice on and on drones
But I can only hear Morpheus groans.

So stop your nonsense
Just listen to my snoozn'
Which is more entertaining
Than your endless buzzing.

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Service and God's Will

The day before I left for Singapore I received again the glitch text about faith. I did not give it another thought because I was somewhat already convinced that this was a technology glitch. When we got to Singapore, it completely skipped my mind. It was almost midnight when I got back to the hotel that Saturday night. I had asked my friend who lives there to check out on the internet the nearest Catholic Church to Fagrance Hotel Imperial where we were staying. Before we arrived in Singapore, my bestfriend's friend told her that there was a very nice church in Bugis, which was just a station away from Lavender, the MRT station near our hotel. Unfortunately, we forgot to ask her for directions to the church. So when I arrived at the hotel, I asked the 2 front desk guys where the nearest church was, the younger one answered in a terse way that the nearest was in Novena. I was not so convinced because I noticed earlier in the day that the Novena MRT station was quite far and you had to change stations at the City Hall to take the Red Line in order to get to Novena. However, I did not want to argue with him that there was 1 in Bugis since I did not know where it was. What I did was search the internet at the lobby. However, I did see anything about a church in Bugis per se. Also, I was not familiar with the streets so I wouldn't know if these were near Bugis or not. But I located the church he mentioned in Novena. So I decided to ask them for directions to Novena. However, since I still had some minutes remaining from my internet rent (S$1/15 minutes), I decided to check my email. The first thing I saw was a regrets letter (yes, another regrets letter) from the World Youth Day 2008 regarding my application to the position of Media Operations Assistant. I was somewhat disappointed (again). But I was thinking that I could still apply as a volunteer. When I got to my room I saw that I had a text message from my friend. He was able to locate a church in Bugis, St. Joseph along Victoria Road. Before I went to sleep, I asked God to help me know His will and to guide me in finding the church.

The next day I left my friends eating breakfast while I hurried to the MRT to go to Bugis. When I got to Bugis I looked for Victoria Road in the direction signs and followed it. As I was looking, I saw written, Church of Our Lady of Lourdes. I followed this instead of looking for St. Joseph since there were concrete directions. Maybe this was God's way of guiding me. I was taking a chance since I did not know the mass schedule of this church, so if it did not have a mass scheduled for 10am then I would be late already if I had to go and look for St. Joseph Church. I was lucky that there was a mass, and an English mass at that. The church was dominated by people from the Indian subcontinent but there were Filipinos, Chinese, Africans and even one or two Caucasians. While I was praying and waiting for the mass to start, the singer for the Psalm came forward to practice. Guess what the Responsorial Psalm was? "Here I am Lord, I have come to do your will." I was getting goosebumps at that time. I was thinking, if during the homily the priest will talk about anything connected to World Youth Day then maybe it's a sign that I should apply for their volunteer program. Then the mass started. The readings were about doing God's will and about service. During the homily, the priest talk about service. His first example was the man he called, "Servant of Servants," Pope John Paul II. Whaaaat!!! Pope John Paul II was the proponent of the WYD. Is this a sign? Hehehe. He went on to mention Gandhi and I think Mother Theresa. Then the priest went on and expounded about being in God's service and following His will. At this time it seemed that the sky opened up and sunlight was streaming through the stained glass windows lighting me like a spotlight. Boy was that a tearful moment.

When I got back to Manila, I was resolved to apply as a volunteer to the WYD 2008 but I was still deciding on whether to apply as a communications volunteer or a registration volunteer. My friend told me to pray for it. Unfortunately, when I got around to applying, the WYD 2008 committee has upgraded their website and there was no mention anymore of long term volunteer program and choices were more limited. I emailed the WYD for clarification but so far they have not responded yet. Was this another closed door? Following God's will is really hard because it's hard enough to discern His will, but when you think you know what it is, you find out that your interpretation was wrong. It's really an adventure and full of tests.

Which way Lord? Show me

this is a prayer given to me by nun friends:

Prayer to Obtain Vocations

O Jesus, Divine Master, who said:
"The harvest indeed is great, but the
laborers are few," we lovingly accept
your invitation: "Pray the heavenly
Father to send forth laborers into
His harvest."

Inspire a devout crusade for vocations:
"All the faithful for all vocations." More
priests! More religious, both men and
women! - to fill the earth with religious
houses which welcome Your favored
children, and which will be centers of
light and warmth, sources of piety,
gardens of saints, singing "glory to God
and peace to men of good will."

O Mary, "God's chosen one," Mother and
guardian of holy vocations, pray with us,
pray for us, and for all those called by God.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

What's wrong with Globe

hay, i received again a text message sent months ago. this time it was the second part of a message my friend ei sent on how to cook shabu-shabu. hehehe. so, where the previous messages God speaking, or just technology glitch? let's just wait and see

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Really, Really Weird

the day after my last post, i received the message again, re: dare to love. it was the same technology glitch message. it was 11pm already. then when i read the 1st reading for that day, it was something from 1 john, about love also, God's love. then i think the 1st reading yesterday was a continuation. still about love and how if there is fear, it can't be a perfect love. waaahhh...i don't know what to think. i know that i have fears when it comes to loving, especially in a man-woman relationship. i have a hard time trusting such kind of love. or maybe God is telling me that my love for him is still lacking, that i still let my fear rule my love for him. maybe i'm still not really trusting him wholeheartedly.

Monday, January 07, 2008

This is Getting Weird

i was on my way home earlier when i felt my phone vibrate. it was on silent mode since i was traveling. when i opened my inbox, i saw that i had a message from a friend who is a nun. i read her forwarded message, it was the same one she sent before, because of my experience last saturday i checked the date the message was sent, it was november 20, 2007. when i scrolled back to the inbox because i had another message, it reflected an icon of an unopened message beside her name. i don't know why i'm being haunted by this kind of technology glitch. is it really just a technology glitch or is this God's way of reminding and comforting me?

earlier this evening i told a friend about what happened. he told me it also happened to him before, the resending of message from months before. given that there is really a technology glitch, how come these are the messages that speak to me now at this point in time? coincidence or something greater? something that requires me to have faith and believe?

this is the message "i want to invite you to dare to love. do not desire anything less for your life than a love that is strong & beautiful & that is capable of making the whole of your existence a joyful undertaking of giving yourself." - Pope Benedict XVI

*as i was finishing this piece, a thought popped into my head, send it to judc, my friend who is in qatar. she emailed me earlier about how uncomfortable she feels about the sexual promiscuity of the people around her. i hope that the message will strengthen her convictions and she'll not be influenced by her environment and her loneliness.

Sunday, January 06, 2008

Message through Text

yesterday, around lunch time, i received a forwarded text messagefrom a friend in singapore. it read "what is faith? it is the confident assurance that something we want is going to happen. it is the certainty that what what we hope for is waiting for us. even though we cannot see it up ahead" (hebrew 11:1). i was a little surprised to receive it because since my friend went abroad he has not been sending forwarded messages. he gets in touch because of some favor he wants to ask or to ask how we are here but no more forwarded messages. i smiled when i received it because i needed reinforcement in this time of waiting and because i already received the same message from him months before. when i scrolled back to my inbox, i saw that there were two more messages from him but when i opened his next message, it was still the same. so i scrolled back to my inbox again to open the third message. alas, there was something wrong with my phone. it still showed that there were still two unopened messages and when i tried to open the second to the last message, the same faith message appeared. i went back to the main menu to give my phone time to recover. since my inbox was almost full, i deleted some messages from my inbox. i then forgot about it because the friend i was waiting for arrived. we had lunch then waited for another friend and her family pick us up. we went to global fun carnival for a day of liberating the kids in us. when we got there, another surprise was waiting. majority of the instructions for the rides and were written in german. a fleeting thought passed through my mind, "hmm... is God trying to say something?" but i did not dwell on it.

around 7pm while waiting in a very slow moving long line to ride a very short unsatisfying ride, i thought of writing about the forwarded message and the german instructions here in my blog, like what i'm doing now, so i checked my phone to see if the message was still in my inbox. when i saw that i had deleted it, i texted the roaming number of my friend in singapore to forward the message again to me. imagine my surprise when he asked what message that was since he can't remember forwarding any message that day. when i searched my inbox for previous messages, because i can faintly remember saving that same message months before, i saw that he first sent it last september 9, 2007. i felt a little light headed. what if this was really God's way of telling me not to lose hope? that somehow, someday, i'm going to go to study abroad. one rational explanation is that my friend just forgot that he forwarded the message earlier or another most likely explanation was that there was a glitch in the technology. it has happened to me before. i received text messages several days after they had been sent.

but what i choose to believe is that God sent that message through my friend because He knows how down i have been feeling regarding how my life seems to be going in no particular direction.

this was further reiforced when i attended mass earlier today. today is epiphany sunday, when the three wise men brought gifts to the child Jesus to reveal to the world that he was Lord and King. i just had my epiphany a day earlier but considering that saturday night can already be considered the start of sunday in the church, as evidenced by the celebration of anticipated masses on saturday nights, my epiphany was just right on time. now, i'll just have to wait for God to reveal his plan for me, i just hope that it's not going be 33 years, the life span of Jesus' human life according to bible scholars. that, just maybe 2008 is going to be my year after all.